Category Archives: Acceptance/Rejection

The invisible tightrope

tightrope walk

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

-Galatians 6:1

I recently read a great article which reminded me how we are called to identify sin where we see it but not to sit in judgement of the person who committed it. This may seem such a simple statement. For me, it is hugely impactful.

Blame culture is all around us. And with blame, more often than not, comes judgement. It’s hard to separate the two. When a mistake occurs in the workplace, the first question is often “Who did this?”. Beneath it is a hidden message: Quickly, let’s assign blame so that I can absolve myself of guilt. Then follows the head-shaking or the “What were you thinking?” or the “This is the 3rd/4th/5th time I’ve had to sort out your mess!”. Or some other variant.

Do we do this in our churches? Do we lightly say with our mouths, “I notice you were late for service today” but in our hearts say, “I’m never late. And if you loved and respected God like I do, you wouldn’t be late either.”

Inwardly judging someone is no different to outwardly condemning. God hears both in equal volume. (Click to tweet)

To point out a brother’s or sister’s sin and to do so without judging or condemning them requires skill, sensitivity and a lot of humility. How tempting it is for me to point out someone’s shortfall with secret glee or relief, to use it as an opportunity to make myself look holy and distract myself from my own failings.

Authenticity is the matching of inward belief with outward appearance. To live in the Spirit, I must strive to be genuinely non-judgemental, both inside and out.

When I find my brothers and sisters caught up in sin, may I be gentle and restorative in how I approach them. May we meet each other in humility and vulnerability.

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!

Silence is my frenemy

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

– Luke 5:16

There are times when I love silence. When I can focus on God and listen to what He wants to tell me. When people sit quietly with me and listen to my pain. Their silent presence gives me space to think, room to feel, time to reflect on my issues and gather strength for the next battle.

There are times when I hate silence. When God asks me to wait. When I volunteer my struggle and there is no reply. When people shrink back in fear rather than ask how they can draw closer. When people say “I’ll pray for you” and walk away.

To me, silence can signal absolute acceptance or devastating rejection, depending on when and how it is offered. (Click to tweet)

What’s your relationship with silence? Friend? Enemy? Or both?

What everyone wants

stamp of disapproval

No matter what anyone says, everyone wants to be liked. Anyone who says they don’t care what people think is too scared to admit that rejection hurts. Or too numb to let themselves feel the pain.

 

**Update: an interesting read about wanting to be liked